YOLO - FOMO - FML: January 2013

Friday, 25 January 2013

"If you have phone sex, does it de-virginify your phone?"

"It's ok, you don't need to look at his head."

"Yeah, I just store all my clothes on the floor."

"Ew, I was just eating my hair because I thought it was noodles."

"I am a paedophilic homewrecker!"

"I need to not get with a ginger so I still have something left for Never Have I Ever."

"I've never actually vommed on anything that bad."

"I'm going to start a religion called Sadie-ism."

*Awkward moment as realises that it just sounds like sadism*

"Boob on yoga mat - the sound of the boat house."

"We were watching the fireworks from the library and I was so drunk I don't know what he did with me."

"If I'm a really good bedder, can I row for W1?"

"I've probably vommed in four or five stations."

"She's a married lady and you're just a twat."

"I should probably take my trousers all the way off, shouldn't I?"

"I think I know what happened, I turned it on and off and it thinks its a virgin."

"I think my mother's the confused one - she doesn't know whether she wants a lesbian or a slut."

"Is an egg a dairy product?"

*group of Petreans find themselves unable to find a spade.*

"I could bring my 22-inch-er?"

"Nah, I've got a 23."

"I'm going on a post-Cindies sleepover next week."